Write 3 paragraphs about the classmate you interview. Be sure there is a topic sentence for each paragraph and supporting details that support the topic sentence.
When writing a paragraph about a person, the topic sentence includes the person's name, and the idea is the concept communicated about the person. For example, fill in any one of the blanks below and create different topic sentence that may be used in a paragraph describing a person.
John Smith enjoys ________________________________John Smith hates _________________________________John Smith loves __________________________________John Smith works _________________________________John Smith plays _________________________________John Smith makes ________________________________John Smith builds _________________________________John Smith expects _______________________________John Smith provides _______________________________
Write a summarizing topic sentence for each of three paragraphs of your choice. In the sentence, state the classmates' full name and describe the singular focused idea that the paragraph will develop. Then, draft a paragraph using the supporting details below:
Supporting Details
The supporting details are the remaining sentences of the paragraph, after the topic sentence. There are usually between 7 to 10 sentences that explain and develop the main idea or topic.
Some techniques used to develop a paragraph and provide supporting details include:
- Using examples and illustrations,
- Citing data (facts, statistics, evidence, details, and others),
- Examining testimony (what other people say such as quotes and paraphrases),
- Using an anecdote or story,
- Defining terms in the paragraph,
- Comparing and contrasting two ideas or items,
- Evaluating causes and reasons,
- Examining effects and consequences,
- Analyzing the topic,
- Offering a chronology of an event (time segments).
Elizabeth G.
ReplyDeleteTopic Sentence:
What she expects is to become a teacher. Finish this course and transfer to another school. Start working in a pre-school, as well in a daycare. Try to exit all of her basic classes. She expects to finish this course before I turn 30.
What she loves to do the most is hanging out, babysits, loves to travel and eat. She loves to visit her family in Colombia every year. She enjoys dancing and shopping. She loves Victoria Secret her favorite store.
What she hates is doing homework. When she fights with her boyfriend. Hates stressing over stupid things. Hates exams because it gets her frustrated. Dislikes studying and texting a lot.
Zuly: Take a second look at your paragraphs. They lack topic sentences. You merely state the subject (Elizabeth G.) and then supply details. You must decide on a controlling idea-- the point you'd like to make about Elizabeth. Once you do that, all details should support that point.
DeleteInstead of stating all the things Elizabeth hates, state one (as your topic sentence) and then explore that in a paragraph of details that support that idea.
Second, remember today's mini lesson on grammar. Many of the statements you make about Elizabeth are fragments. Please address that issue in your repost of this assignment.
Daniel enjoys skateboarding.
ReplyDeleteDaniel enjoys skateboarding because it's really fun to him. He enjoys riding down the sidewalks flipping and doing tricks. He doesn't mind falling and getting hurt because he says he learns from every one of his mistakes and that's what makes him a better skateboarder. What made him want to skateboard was his friend, he always used to watch his friend skateboard until one day he decided to try it and ever since that he's been loving it.
Good work. Take a look at the order of your ideas, however. At the end of your paragraph, you introduce how Daniel started skateboarding, then add a final thought that he's been loving it ever since. Perhaps using those ideas at the beginning of the paragraph would make more sense for your reader. Play with the sequence of ideas and find what works best.
ReplyDeleteDaniel enjoys skateboarding becauseit's really fun to him. He began to feel intrest in skateboarding when he would notice that a friend of his was always skateboarding. Daniel would watch his friend skateboard and at the same time would learn from watching and ever since then Daniel has made this his hobbie.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis is an improvement over your last post. Here are some additional suggestions:
Delete-Be specific. Who are you talking about? The pronoun she can (and should!) be replaced with Elizabeth's name, at least at the beginning of your paragraph when your reader is trying to get a sense of you're discussing.
-Don't use questions as your topic sentence. Questions aren't topic sentences at all. Questions ask; Topic sentences tell-- about the subject and controlling idea.
-Be sure all details support your topic sentence. It's not clear how transferring to another college will help Elizabeth become someone important. Either explain that connection between ideas, or decide if it really supports your topic sentence.
Zuly enjoys hanging out during her free time
ReplyDeleteShe enjoys drinking, dancing, partying, and most of all enjoys hanging out. When she goes out she enjoys getting her hair, nails done, and she enjoys going clothes shopping.
She dislike doing homework she gets sleepy, lazy, and unfocused. When it comes to class she feels normal; but when it comes to class work she gets frustrated.
She expects to pass all her classes during this semester. Her major is on becoming physical therapist. Once she passes her classes she wants to go to a other college get her career started.
Jose enjoys cooking.
ReplyDeleteJose enjoys cooking as much as we love eating. Cooking is a very fun activity/job for the fact that it's a process because when one begins to cook, there is a whole bunch of ingredients in which need to be put together. Basically starting from scratch to make a final picture. Not to mention, the tools that are used to cook, in which Jose mentioned in his interview, are very useful and fun to use. In addition, Jose mentioned that his father was a cook so he is destined to follow his father's footsteps.
Love the way you phrased the topic sentence. The supporting details you use are good but need to be rephrased. There are fragments and incomplete ideas (Basically starting from scratch to make a final picture.), and just areas that could be worded better (in which Jose mentioned in his interview).
DeleteJose plays football.
ReplyDeleteIn his interview, Jose mentioned that he plays football. I was intrigued to find out why exactly he enjoys playing such a rough sport. He actually responded and told me he loves contact sports and trash talking while he is on the field. I mean there is no reason not to trash talk when you know your a decent player. He also mentioned about the crowds reaction and how it motivates him to be a better player. Last but not least, he mentioned how playing football releases stress and I totally agree because everyone has something that they do to release stress.
Jose loves television.
ReplyDeleteMany people love television as Jose and I do. Television is a great invention and it's understandable why it's so loved. Television keeps you informed because of their spectacular news, the discovery channel, history channel, etc. Jose also mentioned that television keeps him entertained when he has nothing better to do. In addition, one day Jose wants to be on television either playing for the NFL or having his own cooking channel, so this is why he loves television. Maybe in the future he will see himself on what he loves.
Najivi Montoya loves sports.
ReplyDeleteNajivi loves all kind of sports, she was in a girl basketball team when she was in high school, but what she loves the most is playing football with her three brothers. They don’t tackle; they just play to have fun. She loves to watch the NFL specially the super bowl; her favorite team is the New England Patriots. She said “if there was a girl’s football team, I would play professional”.
Najivi Montoya enjoys different hobbies.
Najivi enjoys listening to music, even though she enjoys all kind of music, rock is one her favorite, she doesn’t have a favorite song or a rock band. Other thing she enjoys is reading novel books, her favorite novel is “The catcher and Rye’. She enjoys watching movies, but her real passion is drawing, she said “I would like to be an artist but my dad thinks is not a good career for me”.
Najivi Montoya expects to be a successful woman.
Najivi expects to graduate as a registered nurse, first she would like to get the associate degree in nursing at Hudson County Community College, and then she would transfer to Rutgers University, where she expects to graduate as a Registered Nurse. She knows is a long way to go, but she is confidence she will reach her goal. The reason she decide to be a nurse is because she loves to help people. She said “this is a difficult career, but I am not afraid of anything”.
Overall, this is a strong effort. Some details seem to support other ideas in the paragraph, rather than the topic sentence, for example, "her favorite novel is “The catcher and Rye’". This supports her enjoyment of reading. If you rephrase it to read: "[An]Other thing she enjoys is reading novels, such as The Catcher in the Rye.", it would support her different hobbies. Look for other areas in your post where you do this and repost.
DeleteAlso, you are often using commas where you should be using periods. Please correct that!
Najivi Montoya enjoys different hobbies
DeleteNajivi enjoys different hobbies like listening to music. Even though she enjoys all kind of music, rock is one her favorite. She doesn’t have a favorite song or a rock band. Another hobby she enjoys is reading novel books, such as “The catcher and Rye”. She also enjoys watching movies, but her favorite hobby is drawing. She said “I would like to be an artist but my dad thinks is not a good career for me”.
Jonathan loves music.
ReplyDeleteEver since Jonathan was a little kid, his passion for music has been growing along with him. He told me his interests for music started one day while him and his mother where in the car listening to a local radio station. He also told me he listens to a variety of music like Merengue, Bachata, Salsa, Hip hop, Reggue, and artist like little Wayne, Bob Marley , Pit Bull, etc. He said that music makes him happy and helps him relax in some cases.FM
Well done. It would read even better if you remove the "he said"s and the "he told me"s from your text!
DeleteJonathan enjoys to play.
ReplyDeleteJonathan enjoys playing video games especially X Box during his free times. He says that whenever he has an opportunity to play he’ll run to his room turn on the TV and start playing his favorite game which is Raw vs. Smack down 2011 in his X Box 360. He says he gets so involved in this game that he forgets about anything that can bother him and that he can play this game for hours without getting tired. Sometimes his older brother joins and plays with him for a little while. For Jonathan playing video games also helps him forget about everything that surrounds him and makes him be happy.
Jonattan enjoys playing video games, especially X Box during his free time. Whenever he has an opportunity to play, he’ll run to his room, turn on the TV, and start playing his favorite game, which is Raw vs. Smack down 2011 for X Box 360. Jonattan gets so involved in this game that he forgets about everything that bothers him and he can play this game for hours without getting tired. Sometimes his older brother joins and plays with him for a little while. For Jonattan, playing video games makes him happy.
DeleteJonathan hates to.
ReplyDeleteJonathan hates when he tries to sleep at night and gets disturb somehow. He told me that several times when it’s time to go to bed, he gets bother with meaningless thoughts and preoccupations that interrupt this peaceful time of his day. This has become a big problem for him due to the fact that this is happening frequently and it has become a challenge when it’s time to go to bed for Jonathan.
Brandon enjoys cooking food.
ReplyDeleteFrom the time Brandon was a young boy, he was raised learning how to cook for himself from his mother. He fell in love with cooking, and started to experiment with different types of foods. Watching a variety of cooking channels like “The Food Network”, made his skills improve more with food preparation. To him it’s a form of therapy that when you are stressed out, it soothes and frees your mind. With his hobby of cooking, he hopes to open up his own restaurant one day and show the world his talent of gourmet food.
Brandon enjoys cooking. Since Brandon was young, he was taught by his mother to cook for himself. He fell in love with cooking and started to experiment with different types of foods. Watching a variety of cooking channels like “The Food Network” improved his food preparation skills. To him, cooking is a form of therapy that soothes and frees his mind when he is stressed. With his talent in cooking, Brandon hopes to open up his own restaurant to show the world his skill with gourmet food.
DeleteBrandon loves his dog.
ReplyDelete“A dog is a man’s best friend”, and to Brandon, it’s his miniature pinscher. When no one is around, Chi-Chi, his pet is there. And a big plus to the pooch, she’s a great listener! She’s always by Brandon’s side; and unlike everybody else, Chi-Chi is not going anywhere. To him, his dog is a big part of his life, and no matter where he goes, she will be going with him.
Brandon expects to be treated fairly by others.
ReplyDeleteFairness is an important issue to Brandon. He has noticed how our society has become so sexist now days. Not only that, but the favoritism that there is. Certain people are treated better than others and are put on a pedestal. To him, fairness is nowhere near in those topics. He believes that you should treat others how you would want to be treated, and that’s what he expects. Brandon just wants to be treated with respect because that’s what he shows to others.
Paragraph 1 Topic Sentence:
ReplyDeleteNora Melara hates to be taken advantage of.
Nora Melara has spent ten years of her life working for a company that was owned by a Cuban family. She used to enjoy working there and being treated like one of the family members. After some time, Nora began to see a change of behavior from her boss and co-workers. Soon after, she noticed that money was all that mattered to them. Nora started to see the company that she worked so hard for, betray her. Her employer terminated her position, with no legitament reason. Nora was taken aback by what had just occurred. So many thoughts entered her mind; the feelings of time wasted because she had spent a good portion of her youth working at this company. Although she underwent this wretched experience, she will continue to work toward reaching her goals. Her family consists of her three children and she must succeed for them and their future.
Paragraph 2 Topic Sentence:
Nora Melara loves to cook.
Nora Melara is pleased when she sees that people are enjoying the food that she cooks. Being a hostess is extremely fun for her. One of the many reasons is because of the compliments she receives from those who have eaten her cooking. It gives her a sense of pride because of her passion and love for cooking. She also likes to try different types of international recipes, because she is curious of what else is out there as far as food. Although she loves to cook, Nora hardly ever gets to enjoy the food herself, but she still has a great time.
Paragraph 3 Topic Sentence:
Nora Melara expects to become an Accountant.
Nora Melara is on her way to becoming an Accountant. Her dream is to become financially stable so that she can provide for her children. Taking this career path is so important to Nora because she misses being an independent woman. Another reason is because she wants to have the ability to purchase a home for herself, and her children. She also wants to be a positive example to her children, and show them the importance of earning an education. Nora knows that an education is truly the key to a successful career!
Daniel's Expectations:
ReplyDeleteDaniel expects to be successful, to graduate college, and is looking forward to becoming a cop by majoring in Criminal Justice. His reason why he wants to become a cop is because he says there's a good investment of money in that criteria and that he's always wanted to become a cop. He loves watching "Cops" which is show of real life cops solving crimes and catching criminals and that's what's inspiring him to be what he wants to be.
Daniel plays basketball:
Daniel enjoys to play basketball during his free time. He watches lots of sports, so he's basically a sports fanatic. He gets a lot of inspiration off these professional basketball players. They inspire him to play basketball and looking upon them can teach him a lot about basketball. To Daniel basketball is a great exercise, a very exciting and fun sport to play.
Gisela enjoys:
ReplyDeleteGisela enjoys working with kids. Working with kids is like a second nature for her, she knows that is what she wanted to always do. Gisela is very patient, creative and has the ability to nurture and motivate children. According to Gisela; teaching children, being around them is very rewarding to her.
Gisela Expects:
Gisela expects to be happy for many, many years to come, but her biggest expectation is to get her degree from Hudson Community College. Even though she has been working with children for a longtime, Gisela feels that she definitely need an Childhood’s education degree to be able to get an advancement and better opportunities in that fields.
Gisela Hates:
Gisela hates the big gap between the rich and the poor. She dislikes the fact that the world is not equal when it comes to opportunities. It breaks her heart to see some people struggling to make ends meet while other has everything that they need.
Hamdi Enjoys:
ReplyDeleteHamdi told me about how he enjoys playing basketball. On his free time he likes to sit back at home and watch a couple of NBA games on tv. The only time he joined a basketball team was back when he was in elementary school. But he stills goes out to play in the courtyard, he told me thats were he began to find his interest in basketball. Where he lives thats what all his friends do is play basketball.
Hamdi Expects:
When i asked Hamdi what he expects he told me "A successful future". He is really focusing on finishing college and majoring in Accounting. Soon he'll be working for International Cooperation. He'll be representing various nations with the common interest. Its a very good important job which well need a lot of focus and concentration to succed, which I'm pretty sure Hamdi will.
Hamdi Works:
I asked Hamdi where he works and he told me as a bank teller for Chase. He told me its a very fair job. He's pleased with the salary he makes. It was he's first job that he ever had to make a resume for. Luckily he has a good friend that helped him find this job and he has been happy with it ever since.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteTina loves:
ReplyDeleteTina loves her mother, she describes her as beautiful, loud, crazy, wonderful Italian women. What makes her love her mom so much is that she was the one who carried her in her womb for nine months and let her see light. Her mother has always looking out for her and has had her back no matter what. Tina considers her mother as her best friend and dad and appreciates her a lot. Although sometimes her mom can drive her crazy, her mom has given her everything she can. Tina says she is who she is today, because of her mother and is very proud.
Tina plays:
Tina plays softball, and it's a sport she enjoys a lot. She played softball in high school for four years. She started playing with her mom as a little girl and she just really liked it and it something she's good at. She just loves the feeling when she's playing it, it's just really fun for her. Another reason why she plays it because she its like a workout for her, keeps her in shape.
Tina hates:
Tina hates people who make fun of others. She puts herself in their shoes and she knows she wouldn't like it. She can't believe how there are people who are so judge mental and ignorant and don't care about other people's feelings. She's heard of situations of how some people suicide themselves and its just sad. It upsets her how saying mean words to others can get you to that point where people take their own life away.
Yacine provides:
ReplyDeleteYacine provides cheerful to people around her. For Yacine is very important to provide cheerfulness, happiness and comfort for people around her, because she is a very positive person and kindness is something that is in her personality. Where ever she goes and interacts with people she wants everyone to be happy and cheerful, for example at school with her class mates and friends. That’s what makes Yacine to provide cheerful to people.
Yacine enjoys:
ReplyDeleteYacine enjoys decorating her house. She is a very neat and organize person in many aspects as a mother, wife, women and she reflected by having a beautiful cozy home. Also Yacine is a furniture lover, she also likes to give tips to her friends on how to decorate their houses. I can’t wait to get some advices from her to make some changes around my apartment.
Yacine loves:
ReplyDeleteYacine loves to work out; she is a very positive and healthy person. Yacine has been work out for a long time, she tries to go to the gym at least 3 times per week. She wants to live longer and healthy that’s why she takes care of herself a lot. Also she wants to fit in a nice fashion clothes. On the other hand she wants to set a good example to her kids to be healthy. Work out also helps her feels more relax and feels mentally better.
Frany hates:
ReplyDeleteFrany hates being on a diet. She feels comfortable being active and devour a minimum of meals throughout the day. When Frany is on a diet she feels weak and recieve symptoms like headaches and nausea. Instead of feeling vulnerable, She maintains her body figure by attending to a gym fitness and dances Zumba with her two beloved children on her spare time. Also, Frany makes better choices in her daily life. For example, She uses the staricase instead of the elevator while heading to class. Frany claims " It's a healthier way to stay more active".
Frany loves:
ReplyDeleteFrany loves spending quality time with her family. She appreicates her supporting husband, her two lovely children, and her living mother. She loves being a mother who is willing to make sacrifices for her children. A mother who loves to cook for her family because she notices the smiles on their faces. Also, A mother who loves being adventurous during summer vacations along with her family. Frany mentioned "Being a parent can be difficult, but I'm glad to have a family that loves me the way I love them".
Frany expects:
ReplyDeleteFrany expects to graduate from college. She expects to start up her own day care business someday. She wants to become a pre-k teacher that way she can take her two children and manage to take care of them while working. Frany said that she would like to see her own children while she is working in day care. She beliefs that its a much easier way, instead of trusting her kids with other day care centers. Frany hopes to become successful person so she can put her children to a private school with a better education. She expects her life to be less complicated and manage to continue chasing her dreams.
Ana Cruz Loves
ReplyDeleteAna Cruz loves her two children more than anything in this world. Her oldest daughter is a miracle child. After trying to conceive for six years she finally got pregnant through In Vitro Fertilization. At that time Ana felt like the happiest woman on earth. Two and a half years later her son came along. She also loves her family, Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters even though it is a very large one. Her family may seem crazy at times, but when hardship comes they intervene and help one another. Family means everything to Ana and is her first priority.
Ana Cruz hates
Ana Cruz hates people who are not honest. There were past experiences in her life with so called friends, and she thought they were indeed friends, but unfortunately they were not and have ended. She learned the hard way that putting 100% of you into a friendship quickly can open the door to getting burned. In the end, Ana realizes and has learned that her past experiences will not dictate future friendships.
Ana expects
Ana Cruz expects a lot for her future. Currently, she is a full- time student looking to obtain her Nursing Degree. She became unemployed because she was let go from her old job in 2009. While collecting unemployment and also looking for a new job she realized that without a Degree she would not be able to get anywhere. Ana attended a vocational school and received her Medical Assistant degree, but was unable to find work. After her unemployment ceased she went to look for more help and finally received a grant through TANF (a government program), and is now attending college at HCCC, and will proceed to achieve her goal which is to become a Nurse.
Ana Cruz hates people who are dishonest. In her past experience with “friends”, she felt her kindness had been taken advantage of. People she thought were good friends, unfortunately, were not. These relationships have since ended. Ana learned the hard way that putting 100% of oneself into a friendship can open the door to betrayal. In the end, Ana realizes her mistake and has learned from them. Her past experiences will make her more cautious with future friendships.
DeleteAna Enjoys:
ReplyDeleteAna told me she enjoys listening to music a lot because its entertaining especially if she is feeling down it makes her feel better .its a good distraction and makes her forget about her problems. It's a good technique to release stress and where she just feels most at ease .Her favorite music is Spanish music she enjoys it and is talented at dancing it too. Listening to music is her favorite thing to do. She says "music is like medicine the cure to her problems".
Ana loves:
Ana loves her mother the most. She says her mother has been there for her as a mother and father.even thought she had a hard me growing up and having her mom raise herself she loves her most.they didn't have the best connection it took time to grow a good one. After all the fights and disagreements they have both grown out of it. She has realized her mom is all she has.
Ana hates :
Ana hates people who do not appreciate her or when she feels unappreciated. She considers herself a very caring person.she is always willing to help and go out of her way for others.for example if she helps a friend and they don't thank her she feels like that person is ungrateful .she does not expect anything in return she likes to help out whenever she can. She just likes to be thanked and feel appreciated when she is being a reliable person.
Ever since Jenny was a little girl her father would take her to his construction company site; Which was a family business. When Jenny was around 12 she would work in her father office filling paper work,running errands and answering phones. As the business grew she gain more aggressive responsibility and leadership skills as an administrator. Now Jenny further her education to earn a degree in administration.
ReplyDeleteIf wasn't for Jenny becoming a mother she would never be caught in the kitchen cooking. She feels after a long day all she want to is grab take out and call it day. With the add pressure of trying to mix the right ingredients together and cooking for the time, it takes to long. Between School, daycare, and Doctors appointments she feels like she only have enough time to prepare for the next day.
ReplyDeleteUnlike some girls who just like watching football, Jenny loves to play as well. Her boyfriend was on the football team so he had know problem teaching her how to play. She loves thee aggressive tension. Jenny hope that her son would grow and love football as much she does and go pro.
ReplyDeleteFavio loves listening to music. He enjoyes listening to music like: merengue, bachata, salsa, vallenato,etc. He loves listening to music whenever he has time. He enjoys playing Xbox 360 , his favorite game is Street fighter4. During his free time, he enjoyes watching movies, especially new movies. He also enjoyes going to the gym and working out with his friends during his free time. Druing the weekends, he enjoys playing soccer with his friends because he loves soccer and spending time with his friends.
ReplyDeleteFiras loves music it keeps him entertain. He enjoys listening to all types of music like hiphop, techno, house music. It makes it easier for him to work out in the gym. It also helps him keep concentrated when he's doing his homework.
ReplyDeleteFiras expects alot in his future. He's a full time student at NJCU majoring in crimnal justice. Hopes to become a cop in the future. Its all he ever wanted to do also runs in his family. He's also working out to be prepared for his physical test in the police academy.
ReplyDeleteFiras hates being on a diet. He eats alot of fast food so cutting down on that was hard for him. When firas is on a diet he feels weak and very lazy not motivated to do anything. Now with his cop test coming up he has to be in shape. He's under pressure so it forces him to eat healthy.
ReplyDeleteStephen likes going to the gym because, it releases stress. It also keeps him healthy and in shape. The gym can keep someone like Stephen, motivated, and focuses. Stephen also likes being social with people so, going to the gym helps. The gym is packed with lots of new people every day so Stephen likes to get a good work out, and be social at the same time.
ReplyDeleteStephen loves woman he says that they keep him active. By going out to dinner with them. Shopping with them. They also make him feel loved. They show him affection, attention and, support. Woman can also keep a guy out of trouble by giving guys advices in a gone wrong situation like Stephen loves.
Stephen heats school he thinks it is a waste of money. The reason why is because he believes that we are here for a short amount of time. At the same time we are getting charge lots of money Stephen says. Stephen also doesn’t get along with some of the professors. He thinks that sometimes they just don’t understand him or, his work. Some of his classes are very long and, some he just don’t like because he gets lots of homework.